Randi’s Sleep Training Journey
Prior to the birth of my twins, Archer and Luca, I wasn’t worried about sleep. I’ve never had high sleep needs, often waking at 4:30 to go to the gym before work. I knew I was saying goodbye to those leisurely Saturday mornings when I slept until 9:00, but I was sure that it couldn’t be as hard as everyone was telling me.
I was wrong. I quickly learned that waking up early Monday through Friday is not the same as sleeping for short bursts totalling at most 6 hours each night for weeks on end. As it became apparent that this sleep thing was going to be harder than I thought, I began researching. I read every blog, article, and book out there about sleep training, determined to get my boys on a schedule and sleeping through the night as soon as possible (if only I had known about sleep consultants!). I immediately began implementing every best practice I found, and while not perfect, both our days and nights drastically improved around 3 months. Our days finally had a bit of the schedule I craved as a type A elementary school teacher, and nights were at least bearable. While things were certainly improving, that full night of uninterrupted rest was something I still dreamed of.
Finally it happened, sort of. Following all the twin mom advice, I had always woken the sleeping twin after his brother woke to eat at night. One day I realized that for the past week Archer had been the one to wake every night and, and after he ate I fed Luca. Wondering if maybe Luca could sleep all night I decided to take a risk. Archer woke, I fed him, and then put him back to sleep and went back to bed myself without feeding Luca. I was shocked when I woke the next morning and realized he had slept through the night! Not wanting to be disappointed I didn’t let myself believe Luca was actually sleeping through the night. I was convinced it was just a fluke and any day now he would be back to waking up. After a few weeks of not waking I finally let myself believe that Luca was really sleeping through the night. We were halfway there.
I then turned to Archer. Getting up with one baby was certainly better than waking with two, but after 6 months of interrupted sleep I was desperate to get him sleeping through the night like his brother. Archer proved to be a little trickier. Despite all the advice I was following, despite implementing the exact same practices with him that I did with Luca, Archer continued to want middle of the night bottles, had trouble falling asleep independently, and seemed to wake in the night for no apparent reason. I finally reached out to a sleep consultant and we worked together to sleep train him, but a few months later Archer had a bad bout of ear infections that reversed a lot of our progress and we had to sleep train again right before his first birthday.
I share this story because when you’re in the thick of sleep deprivation (or any part of motherhood) it’s so easy to play the comparison game. You see people post on social media about their babies who slept through the night at 6 weeks and feel like you must be doing something wrong. The reality is all babies are different. They have different needs, different temperaments, and different development tracks. Archer and Luca were treated the exact same beginning the day they were born. Fed the same, cuddled the same, played with the same, and Luca was an extremely easy sleeper while Archer was a challenge. They both got to where they needed to be eventually, but required different approaches. If you also have a stubborn baby, I promise they can and will sleep. And you’re doing an amazing job.
